Weighty Question

Some good news today. I had my letter from the council parking dept and I have been awarded a blue badge for a year. Normally they are for three years but I figured it would be shorter than that because of needing more info on my prognosis.

The snow is finally starting to clear now so it will be good to be able to get out and about more than I have been for a bit rather than just to the doctors / hospital / work.

Had a very bad time with the pain this morning and OH turned to me and said -"Don't you think it would help if you dropped some weight." Cheeky Bar steward its hardly like hes matchstick like either. Im not fat I am in shape ....round is a shape.

Nah it did shock me that he would say that as my BMI is reasonable although with not walking and Christmas admittdly I am still * a little * lardy round the edges. Think I shall eat his bar of chocolate that is in the fridge as compensation.

...And after having to shell out for a new sofa suite as ours was bust, forking out £200 for the car service and over £200 for a decent wheelchair our washing machine breaks down. 2 days after the Currys sale ends- sods law.

Shopping fun !

Do you HATE the BORING weekly supermarket shop????

Try these suggestions to spice up the trip!!!

Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they are not looking.

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and tell shoppers you will invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, pick your nose, and eat it.

While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle ask an assistant if they know where the antidepressants are.

Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the"Mission Impossible" theme.

In the kitchenware aisle, practise the "Madonna look"using different size funnels.

Hide in a clothing rack and while people browse, yell"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker,assume the foetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while; then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Designer Dogs

New designer cross breed dogs...
Collie + Lhasa Apso =Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow =Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter =Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund =Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingese + Lhasa Apso =Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel =Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever =Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound= Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog= Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador =Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer= Moot Point, owned by...oh well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute= Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier= Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu= Bull Shih Tzu, a gregarious but unreliable breed

Update

Even though I am off work at the moment I have oodles to do, an assignment sorting out Union business both locally and the logistics of conferences and it was lovely to see my folks at the weekend just to have some get away from it space.

I haven't mentioned it on here before because I wanted to tell mum and dad first but I have some new transport at the moment. I was fighting it for a while but it actually not as bad as I imagined.

Today I have had my assessment for a blue badge and I should know within a couple of weeks if I am eligible. There has been hell up in the local newspaper a.k.a fish and chip wrapping over the amount of people the council are turning down even a guy who has two artificial knees!.

I must admit after the cursory five minute examine the nurse gave me -with no reference to my medical notes I do question why this scheme can't be administered by the patients G.P.

Going out for a meal tonight as yesterday was mother in law's birthday shes lovely but a bugger to buy for. So Dave took her a big bunch of flowers and some chocs yesterday (I was too ill) and we are going to take her and father in law out for a slap up meal tonight. We had to do something as we had ran out of Andrea Bocelli CD's and DVD's to buy her. Cunnigly I had worked out that she liked him from the poor discription she gave me of "the blind fella".

I love the internet

At home feeling yucky and bleugh and I can still shop for shoes technology is great!

Sofa Loafer

All go today thank flipping heck that OH's dad has been here. New Sofa was supposed to be delivered between 12-6. Daves dad came down at 10 to help Dave take the old sofa to the tip. (It had been eaten by the lurcher). New sofa we are reassured by OH will definately fit through door.

Luckily I am in all day as the delivery unexpectedly arrives at 10.30am when theres only me and dog in the house. Course now I can barely walk (having a mega bad day) compared to yesterday and so unable to bring sofa inside. Which definately WON'T fit though door. Delivery men end up leaving sofa in back garden and 1 hurried call to Dave and he and his dad achieved the impossible and managed to bring it in after ages of huffing and puffing.

Now sofa is done I am knackered after rooting round for keys / trying to look after the dog and sorting out two jobsworth delivery fellas.

I also have lots of things to do as the house is a tip and I need to complete some forms by the end of today. I also definately need the front room redecorated as my wallpaper has marks from where the old sofa was next to it and it looks horrible.

I can't wallpaper for toffee ...neither can OH bugger.